Neophytegirl - Archive

Update on all the things

Flat: We have put the deposit down on the flat, and hopefully should be moving 1st February if not sooner, which is what I wish. My back is not a big fan of the crappy mattress at the hostel.

Illness: I guess I am back to about 95%. My throat hurts sometimes when I wake up but I think that has to do with the ridic heat/dryness at said hostel.

Working out: Well, suffice to say I haven’t done anything other than walking about since the 10K. Now that I don’t feel like utter crap, I plan to either start running again (weather permitting) or hitting the gym. While I am still not within walking distance of uni, I have a 5 day pass to a gym close to the hostel I will be using ASAP.

Uni: I met with my professor. I have to rework my proposal and whatnot and we are meeting again next week. Unfortunately I cannot locate my proposal AT ALL. I don’t even have a hard copy; I looked through all the paperwork I had here. Unless it is hidden away somewhere and I have no idea where that would be, I am kind of screwed. I can rewrite it, but I preferred not to reinvent the wheel and just wanted to edit the old one. So I have started over. I have 71 words written. Great start, right?

Still looking into getting a new computer. My old Dell laptop is slow and the cable doesn’t stay plugged in. I will get one with my office, but it won’t be “mine,” nor will it be a laptop. Also I don’t know when space will be allocated for me.

Fandom: Still a Cumberbitch. I can’t help it. I clearly need help, stat.

And I am off to get some errands done.

10K, Benedict Cumberbatch, exercise, Glasgow, health, just call me Dr. Cindy, motivation, running, Scotland, UK

Insert witty title here

I had a blog post all made up in my head as I was on my walk today. Can I remember any of it now? No, of course I can’t.

I have figured out what is causing my hip/back pain. From Dr. Google I have determined that it is most likely Sacroiliac Joint Pain. I need a foam roller and a massage. Donations care willingly accepted.
For the most part I will just have to keep stretching as much as I can and icing it as well. There isn’t much more I can do. Hopefully I will be able to make it bearable so that I am not being lapped by grannies with walkers on the track.

I know if I hit post, I will remember all the other things I was going to say, but it probably wasn’t very important. So here, have a picture I took on my walk yesterday. It would have looked the same as today, but today was 20 degrees warmer and I didn’t need to wear 3 layers of clothes and gloves.

exercise, health, life, money woes, walking

State of Play

Wow, I haven’t blogged in a while. I just haven’t had much to say that I haven’t blathered on about already. It’s unfortunate that nothing has changed. I feel like I can’t catch a break. I know I am not the only one out there, but my situation isn’t going to change without a change of luck.

Job search:
It’s not going well. Every day there are fewer and fewer jobs I am actually qualified to apply for. Retail jobs have been a bust. I had an interview at a large family clothing store with crap commercials {not to disclose names} and it was ridiculous. I got all dressed up to be interviewed in the front of the store. I apparently am not even qualified {or didn’t pass the background check} to work holiday retail. It was a real boost to my self esteem to say the least. I got another rejection email today; I’ve been applying for any and every teaching and assistant position in my area.

Depression/health/headaches/etc:
Well it goes without saying that I am miserable. I’m not sleeping well which doesn’t help. I’m out of medications so I’ve been without my anti-depressant for some time now {which was also helping with the pain}. I’ve also had nothing to help the headaches either. The pain level has been averaging about a 7 now most days- adding to the depression/lethargy/basic inability to do anything at all.

I feel very whiny and pathetic right now, which I know isn’t helpful or positive. But it is really hard to have a positive outlook when nothing at all is going right. I just feel out of sorts and being back here hasn’t exactly been what I had hoped or expected. I think I overestimated what would happen and how I would feel. I had hoped I could walk back into my old life and it would be all sunshine and roses. But the year away changed me, it changed what I want and expect out of life, and I want that back. I just wish it would happen.

anxiety, headache, health, job searching, life, meds, money woes, pain

Back to it

Yesterday I left the house 4 times. Amazing, innit? We took the kids to daycare, went to the post office, I went on a walk, and then a quick trip to Target with my sister later in the day. Wow, I know.

The walk/run C25K was fine.

It was hot. Well compared to Glasgow, 70 F is hot, so…… I hit the track at my local middle school for about an hour. Other than a leg cramp it was ok. My back seems to be feeling better, considering I’ve done nothing for the past 2 weeks. It feels more like it does when I need an adjustment and I am hoping that is all that it is. Once I get health insurance [or a job] I can pursue that line of inquiry.

Eating has been fine calorie wise [as I've lost 10 pounds since being home], but quality not so much. There is a huge lack in fresh fruits and veggies but what can you do with no money? I just have to make sure not to eat large quantities of cereal! Not much I can do about that; I just have to make smart choices in what’s around the house. Breakfast has been cereal and coffee, lunch, either 2 eggs or pasta, and dinner a mix of what’s been made or what I make myself. Last night I was hungry, but not in the mood for chicken so I had a Shakeology shake and cereal. Luckily my sister happened to have an unopened Shakeology package that I can use.

So far nothing on the job front. I’ve been applying for any job I remotely have qualifications for- education, teacher aide, sub, barista, customer service. I haven’t heard anything yet, except the rejection emails from positions already filled. It sucks and it is depressing. I know I am not the only one out there looking but it sucks all the same.

What is even more frustrating is not having a phone. My BFF told me about Safelink, and I just checked my application, and I have been approved and should be receiving a phone soon. This will have to do until I have a job. Horray for one thing going right!

I’m also going to see the Red Sox on Saturday courtesy of a lovely friend. I can’t wait. Fenway Park I missed you so!

Now all I need is a job and things will be smashingly brill!

Boston you're my home, c25k, exercise, health, life, money woes, red sox, weight

Radio silence and finding motivation

I’ve been quiet here for the past few days. I really haven’t had much to say, because I haven’t really done anything. A lack of funds will do that. I also haven’t been feeling well either. I think I am just tired from writing and the stress of it all, I guess.

Today was a better day and I found out I had to submit to plain paper copies of my dissertation as well as the fancy printed and bound copy (why do they never tell you these things?) so I did that and got my print and bound copy sorted as well. It won’t be in on time but the 2 other copies were in early and that was fine. (I was already granted an extension if I needed it, but was actually done early. -Who am I?)

Now I just need to find the motivation to work on me, and move on with my life and start working out again and eating better (well once we get money. I forsee pasta in my future for all 3 meals for the next week). I am just having a hard time doing it. It isn’t like I have time constraints. I have NOTHING to do for the next month and 12 days. I need to get back out there and get motivated, I just can’t seem to do it. It’s sad. I know it is. I just need to find a way to do it. I know I am not the only one out there struggling to find motivation- it’s been on plenty of blogs I read. But of course no one else has the luxury of having fuck all to do for the next 42 days. I should be able to find and make and want to do it, but for some reason….. I have no idea why it is so hard. Maybe it is because just walking is so damned painful-I mean really I should not feel like my legs have been kicked and punched after a short walk. My feet shouldn’t hurt so much that I need to soak them in hot water. I shouldn’t be waking up and struggling to walk to the kitchen b/c it hurts. And you would think that this would make me want to, desire to, run to walk and walk and then run and do lots of things to make it better, but I can only feel the pain and the fear that it will never get better. That I will never lose weight or succeed or anything.

I hope tomorrow is a better day for walking and for this mental barrier I have.

My goal for August is to walk at least 3 miles every day, which shouldn’t be a problem for someone who has done several 5k’s, a 10K, and walked 20 miles in the walk for hunger.

How do you overcome challenges, mental or physical when it comes to working out? Have you ever experienced pain just from short walks, or from doing just nothing at all?

dissertation, Glasgow, grad school, life, motivation, pain, Scotland, UK, walking, weight

Unconditional offer

It has been all doom and gloom here lately, I know. Believe me I know. The stress has been killing me. I’ve had to rely on the Valium, which I had been doing pretty good without doing. But I am glad I still have it as a backup option.

And thank you all for your kind words and well wishes and thoughts. It’s meant a lot. <3

Today we met with the international student advisor to discuss the issues we have (mostly financial). As I had even said at the outset of the meeting, I was fine if I didn’t get into the Ph.D. program. I honestly didn’t think I would, given my not so great grades this year here. Granted I’ve had a good reason. It isn’t every year your mum passes away. While I should’t use it as an excuse, well I just haven’t exactly put the effort in since. I’ve been upset.

So we have some options financially- we can apply for a hardship loan and lucky for us they still have one meeting. So I need to fill out an application and get my advisor to sign off and find some documents. But this should keep us afloat for the next 2 months.

Because in September I will get my new batch of student loans. For the Ph.D. program I got accepted into unconditionally. :) Yes I got in. Unconditionally. I can’t really believe it, actually. So the next three years I will be researching bullying. Not sure how I plan on doing that and working on the book I started, but I’m sure I can figure it out LOL!

So hopefully we will get the loan and I can spend August worrying about me and working on me. Working out daily. Looking for a part time job. Finding a place to volunteer. Perhaps finding a new flat, as we’ve just run out of room in our lovely, but small one bedroom flat.

dissertation, Glasgow, grad school, just call me Dr. Cindy, life, meds, Scotland, UK, writing

I’m struggling (True Confessions Tuesday)

- . . .with everything. Writing, life, relationships, keeping the flat clean- just everything.

-It’s after 2pm and I still have yet to write one word on my dissertation today.

-I can’t remember the last time I worked out.

-Money issues have overtaken my worry over the dissertation- which is kind of sad really.

-The only time in days I have been relaxed was when we went to see Goblet of Fire last night. It was 2 + hours where I didn’t have to think- and just waited for Barty Crouch Jr. to show some tongue action. ;)

-Everything seems to set me off emotionally.

-I just want to know that everything is going to work out and I am not going to end up on the streets begging for money. (Granted if I were an optimist, I would already feel that way, but with the money to run out by August 1, my dissertation due August 3, and no idea if I’ve gotten into the PhD program, all I can see is the reality of the situation, and it ain’t pretty. I’d rather be sad and realistic about the next 2 months than optimistic- and then have it all come crashing down)

-Yes, I know that’s sad.

-I better get writing. Too bad I can’ t use this word count toward my dissertation.

-Hopefully I will be back tomorrow with a much happier post.

dissertation, Glasgow, grad school, life, Scotland, true confessions tuesday, UK, writing

I have a secret follow-up post

So a few days ago I posted that I had a secret. I did and I do, and now it is time to share it with all of you. (oh I rhymed)

It has been no secret that I’ve had this 5 year long headache. I tweet about, Facebook about it, talk about it. I’ve seen 5 neurologists. I’ve had 2 spinal taps, oxygen infusions, steroid infusions, and have taken dozens of different kinds of pills including all sorts of triptans, opiates, anti-depressants, vitamins, and supplements. I’ve seen an eye specialist for pseudo tumour cerebri, had nerve blocks, massage, and chiropractic treatments. I’ve been to the ER more times than I can count. To say the very least it has SUCKED. I mean who sees 5 neurologists? Who sees a neurologist who can’t help you and starts googling neuro’s to help you, in FRONT of you? It’s happened to me. I’ve been told to eat less, exercise more, meditate, do yoga, drink less caffeine, drink more caffeine, drink water. (all of the good things I was ALREADY doing.) I wanted to tell them to go do yoga when they are at a pain scale level 9/10 and you want to puke from the pain. Most of the time I still made it to work as a teacher. Some days were better than others. Some days I’d never turn the lights on, and plead and beg for quiet.

But, other than yesterday, I had gone an entire week and a half without a headache. *knock on wood* We may have found a medicine that helps. Maybe that combined with less gluten is the answer. Maybe it is a fluke, maybe not. All I can say it has made reading and typing for my dissertation FAR easier. I know it hasn’t been my perfect diet and water intake and exercise. I haven’t been doing any of those. I’ve been living and breathing my dissertation, and well hopefully we will have enough money to pay rent and utilities for August, and maybe have enough left to eat something. Right now I foresee a lot of rice, toast, and beans in our future. Hopefully none of that will cause a headache. Because I am just getting used to what life is really like without a pounding in my head. At least it isn’t the sound of drums, ’cause that would suck. :)

dissertation, Glasgow, grad school, headache, life, meds, neuro, pain

Welcome to Neophytegirl!!!

Hello! It’s me, Cindy. I am sure you figured that out already, especially if you clicked the link. :) As my friend Donna was impatient to hear about my news and secrets, I’ve decided to go live here earlier than I anticipated. My blogroll links aren’t up yet, and the email still isn’t working for the domain, but close enough. I hope to have those things remedied in the next few days.

When I posted the other day about changes and my old domain, and since I have been thinking about blogging more frequently (once my dissertation is completed) I thought why not. Why not go back to my original virtual home.

So….. look for posts on my BIGish secret, what neophytegirl is all about, and general dissertation stress and insanity (well just over the next few weeks).

Thanks for reading and following me on my journey, wherever that may be.

dissertation, Glasgow, grad school, life, Scotland, UK, writing

Sunday’s workout

Today was supposed to be a practice dry run for my upcoming 5K. It was not very promising. I had got 5 minutes in my walk to the park and my hip was killing. I tried stretching and all sorts of movement to get it to feel right, and I could just not get it aligned.

View of University of Glasgow from within Kelvingrove Park

Once I got to the park and began the running portion, it was not good. I managed 1.5/4 out of the running portions of week 3 day 1 of C25K. Granted I have not run outside in about a year and all the running I have been doing over the past 2-3 weeks has been on the treadmill, but I know I will be walking most of Sunday’s 5K.

It will be so much easier if I can lose weight (quickly) and keep it off to run, and to do anything.

Tomorrow’s workout is a pilates class and either walking or biking. I also need to start to figure out a way to get to the gym once this bus pass runs out. The bus pass costs more than the gym membership!

——————————————-
Total mileage today: 5.79 miles

Hi, I'm Cindy, the author of neophytegirl. I'm a 30 something Boston girl living in Glasgow, UK. I write about a variety of things including diet, weight loss, exercise, and my PhD subject; bullying. I may or may not be a little crazy about Sherlock, Doctor Who, the Boston Red Sox, and coffee. Join me on my crazy journey!
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